Kid Rock Might Be Running For U.S. Senate Because Everything Is Terrible

first_imgOh boy! I wonder what his major announcement will be! Surely, it’s not that he plans to run for U.S. Senate!However, the bid is not officially confirmed, and there are two reasons to be skeptical. 1) Kid Rock is a known flip-flopper. In 1998, the musician declared “I wanna be a cowboy,” though we have yet to see any evidence that he actually accomplished this goal after nearly two decades, and 2) As Consequence of Sound notes, “While Richie has expressed an interest in politics, it’s entirely possible, and likely probable, he’s not actually running for office. His campaign’s webstore is hosted on Warner Bros.’s website, suggesting the rocker is parlaying recent speculation into a marketing opportunity for a new music project.”If Rock is serious about running for Michigan’s Senate, he’d be up against incumbent Debbie Stabenow (D), as Kid Rock, though he identifies as a “Libertarian” (a.k.a. a Republican who likes to smoke pot), is a big supporter of Donald Trump. In the past, Rock has previously campaigned for the 45th president, sold merchandise for him, visited him in the White House, and generally just won’t hop off his dick. Ironically, if Kid Rock were to run for office, he may have to face-off against his good buddy, Ted Nugent, who is also considering running for office, because the bar for political standards is literally flush with the ground.[H/T Consequence of Sound] A few moments later, Kid Rock then posted this cryptic follow-up: Ah, yes, Kid Rock. What do you think when you hear the name? Do you think of the genius musician who heavily sampled the iconic “Sweet Home Alabama” in his song about growing up in Northern Michigan, or the genius lyricist who, in the very same song, rhymed the word “things” with “things,” making for an actually 100% perfect rhyme? #legendaryMaybe, your first instinct when you hear the name of the musician who penned such classics as “Cucci Galore” and “Bawitdaba”—the latter of which is mostly filled with incoherent babbling in between rants on the IRS and references to “porno flicks”—is, “Get that man into political office ASAP!” If you fall into this category, then buckle up, because you’re about to have a great day. Today, Robert Ritchie, the actual name of the celebrated and beloved musician that is Kid Rock, more or less announced that he would be running for U.S. Senate.A website for Kid Rock’s apparent senatorial run,  www.kidrockforsenate.com, went live today, which, I shit you not, only features a picture of Kid Rock next to a taxidermied deer, the lone phrase “ARE YOU SCARED?”, a link to a gift shop with predictably horribly rendered gear, and a poorly designed GIF that alternates between phrases like “PIMP OF THE NATION,” “BORN FREE,” and “IN ROCK WE TRUST.” Inexplicably, the GIF also features the phrases “PARTY TO THE PEOPLE,” “WELCOME TO THE PARTY,” and “I’LL ROCK THE PARTY” back to back, just to really hammer home Rock’s affinity toward both political parties and drinking-a-bottle-of-Southern-Comfort-and-waking-up-in-your-neighbor’s-bushes-naked parties.Clearly, the outpour about this new website got back to Kid Rock, as he then went to post on Twitter this:last_img read more

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Natalie Portman: Hometown Heroine

first_imgSign up for our COVID-19 newsletter to stay up-to-date on the latest coronavirus news throughout New York Long Island’s own Natalie Portman stars in the upcoming superhero film “Thor.”She’s played a ballerina, a queen, a stripper and two famous Annes (Frank and Boleyn). She was named one of the 50 Most Beautiful People by People Magazine. She won the Academy Award for her performance in the psychological thriller Black Swan, along with a Golden Globe and several other major accolades.Yet during one of her nearly 20 David Letterman Show appearances, Natalie Portman told the host, “I’ll always still be a kid from Long Island.”Portman, who was born in Jerusalem and lived there until age 3, spent most of her formative years in Jericho, attending Solomon Schechter Day School in Glen Cove, and graduating in 1999 from Syosset High School, where she was valedictorian and also voted “Most Likely to Win Jeopardy.”“Natalie was brilliant in every subject,” says Jill Goldberg, her guidance counselor at Syosset High School when the actress was still known by her given name, Natalie Hershlag (Portman is her grandmother’s maiden name). “She balanced her work here with her professional life seamlessly, maintaining a flawless average. She’s just a brilliant, remarkable person, inside and out. I absolutely adore her.”Portman studied ballet and modern dance at the American Theater Dance Workshop in New Hyde Park and attended the Usdan Center for the Creative and Performing Arts in Wheatley Heights. Her road to stardom began at age 10, when she was “discovered” at an LI pizza parlor by a Revlon scout looking for child models.By age 12, Portman was cast in her first film, Leon: The Professional. Roles followed in Heat (1995), Beautiful Girls (1996) and Mars Attacks! (1996). But despite her busy career, academics always came first—a value instilled by her parents, Dr. Avner Hershlag, chief of North Shore-LIJ’s Center for Human Reproduction, and Shelley Hershlag, an artist.“Natalie’s parents didn’t let her work on major films during the school year,” says Goldberg. “They valued education very highly.”They made an exception for Portman’s starring role on Broadway in The Diary of Anne Frank during her high school junior year. Natalie’s grandfather’s parents and his younger brother were killed in concentration camps, making it extremely personal.Promoting the play on the Today Show in 1997, she told Matt Lauer, “I read the diary at 12, and it’s very close to my own family history. It’s very important to remind people of the wrongs of racism and hatred.”During her senior year, Portman reached superstardom as Queen Amidala in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, famously missing its premiere to study for finals.Her studiousness paid off. Portman graduated with a 4.0 average from Syosset High and continued her education at Harvard, majoring in psychology. At the time, Portman said, “I don’t care if [college] ruins my career. I’d rather be smart than a movie star.”The actress lived for a time in Sea Cliff, where longtime resident and Bart’s Barber Shop owner Joseph Mazzeo once cut her hair. “She came in with her mom, and I had no idea who she was,” Mazzeo recalls. “She was growing her hair out, and she said, ‘Give me a Mohawk.’” He later learned that she’d shaved her head for a movie roll. “Her mom looked nervous,” Mazzeo says, “but Natalie told me, ‘I bet you think I’m 14, but I’m 24.’”Portman, now 32, reprises her role as astrophysicist Jane Foster in Marvel’s Thor: The Dark World, debuting this month—and her science cred isn’t fiction. In high school, Portman co-authored a paper titled “A Simple Method to Demonstrate the Enzymatic Production of Hydrogen from Sugar,” which earned her semifinalist honors in the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search. She continued her distinguished science career at Harvard, contributing to a study on memory called “Frontal Lobe Activation during Object Permanence.”She may still be “just a kid from Long Island,” but with her brains, beauty and killer-acting chops, she’s done LI proud.last_img read more

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Late surge in investment returns rescues Ilmarinen’s 2016 result

first_img“During the year, we reduced fixed income investments and increased investments in real asset classes,” he said. “We continued to diversify our real estate investments abroad and invested in new properties in Frankfurt, Berlin and Amsterdam, among other places.”The market value of Ilmarinen’s portfolio rose to €37.2bn by the end of December, from €35.8bn a year earlier.Equities were the best performers among the main asset classes despite market volatility, Ilmarinen reported, returning 6.5%.Investments in listed Finnish equities returned more than 15% in 2016, Ritakallio said, adding that US and emerging economy equities had also performed well.“However, investments in other European equities and shares lowered the overall return on the equity portfolio,” he added.Solvency capital was 29.2% of the technical provisions in 2016 compared to 29.6% the year before, and the solvency position remained at two times the solvency limit.Ritakallio also said implementation of Finnish pension reform had got off to a smooth start at the company.“It will be interesting to see how the reform will impact retirement in the long run and how Finns will make use of the new pension types,” he said. Finland’s second largest pensions insurer Ilmarinen recovered from early losses to report 4.8% in overall investment returns for 2016.The return was lower than 2015’s 6% gain, with European equities a drag, according to Timo Ritakallio, president and chief executive of Ilmarinen.“The Brexit referendum and the US presidential election fuelled political uncertainty, causing stock price volatility,” Ritakallio said. “Against this challenging backdrop, we reached a reasonably good investment return.”Ritakallio said the “good” full-year result was attributable to Ilmarinen’s long-term investment strategy, as well as diversifying investments both geographically and across various asset classes.last_img read more

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